Pain

Oh, he can’t share my Spirits –
So, let it be.
Nor can he share my solitude –
So, let it be.
Neither – my mystery…
So, let it be.

But there it was – his pain,
his passion…

So,
let him not remember me,
let him not love me,
think about me anymore.

But there is was –
his open heart,
his open bleeding heart
of memory,
of recollections…

He did betray himself
giving his love away,
letting it show,
letting his feelings flow –
pain and desire.

For that’s the only way
that he can love.

Oh, did he love me?
Did he really love?

I never thought he did.
But now that twenty years have passed
I see – he did.

And all the pain,
and all the loss
blowed up in him.

His open heart –
pain and desire.

No irony,
no cynicism –
no kidding.

It was so much unlike him,
but I could see that.

And just for that
I’ll keep him in my heart
until the end:

No irony,
no cynicism –
no kidding…

But just an open bleeding heart –
pain and desire.

Yes, twenty years had passed
before I realized
how much he loved me,
although he never showed me that
back then…